On Friday, I came the closest I've ever come to about beating a child for misbehaving. However, I managed to control myself. Good thing, too. First, I was at the children's play area at a local mall. Second, it wasn't my child.
In bad need of a haircut, we had ventured to the mall for that and a few other things. My wife and I decided that one of us would watch the kids in the play area while the other accomplished their errands. After my haircut, I watched the kids, and my wife warned me that another boy had pushed our son, who responded appropriately by walking away.
With both kids running around, most of my attention was directed toward my daughter, who gets creative when trying to leave the play area to check out the rest of the mall. My son was playing with a flip board making different creatures. He was hidden by a play bridge, but I could see if he left.
At one point, my daughter headed toward that bridge, giving me the opportunity to check on my son. As I neared the corner where he was playing, I was shocked to see my son crying and screaming. Another boy of about the same age was behind him with two handfuls of my son's hair. He was pulling back for all he was worth and wouldn't let go.
I stormed over, pulled the boy off, and made sure my son was okay. After a quick check, I turned my attention to the other boy. I pointed out that it was my son he was attacking, that my son would get his butt whipped if he attacked another person like that, and that he owed my son an apology. The boy responded with a "No," and started to walk away. Seeing red, my only response was that we would then need to find his parents and ensure they removed him from the play area immediately.
Apparently, my input on that issue was unnecessary. As I sat my son down and tried to calm him down, the boy was getting hauled off by his mother. He was screaming about wanting to say he was sorry, to which his mother replied it was far too late. I don't believe she saw what happened, rather another person pointed out what her son had done. I was disturbed that she found it difficult to keep a close eye on that one child but appreciative of her response to the situation.
We bought my son a cookie as a treat for his handling of the situation. From discussions with my wife, it seems the same boy was involved in both incidents with my son (the pushing and hair pulling). Had our son reacted physically, his actions would have been justified, but it's challenging to teach a four-year old the fine line between unacceptable physical responses and reasonable defensive actions. For now, we are glad he was unwilling to respond physically to the attack. It will be far easier for us to explain defending oneself when he is older than it will be for this other mother to stop her son's attacks.
It was also a lesson for me. Even in a small play area with primarily little kids, constant vigilance is vital. The presence of other adults was insufficient to fully protect my children, and we were lucky this was only the childish attack of another toddler. There will be minimal lasting damage from my son having his hair pulled. As dad, my role as protector is to ensure such attacks are the worst my children ever have to endure.
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